Well, I just got off work and I have 6 whole minutes to do this. Leggo
1. Analyzing, not summarizing
2. Dialect
3. Syntax
5. Cadence
5. Orwell
6. (there were two 5s and I'm too lazy, I just spent more time writing this then it would take to change one of them to 6 but oh well) Vocabulary
7. Speech
8. Argument
9. Proposal
10. Claim
11. warrant
12. VISUALIZE
13. Appeals
14. The people
15. Bonding
16. Sharing
17. Loving (rubbing)
18. Jack playing on his iPod the whole time
19. Giving Junior girls advice
20. Credibility
21. Write as you speak
22. Parallelism
23. Narration
24. Rhetoric
25. Tone
26. BLA, after BLA, after BLA
27. David Sedaris is pretty awesome
28. Alyssa being mean, Pardis being mean, Megan being mean, Nadeen being mean, it goes on
29. Bloggity Blog
30. Arguing to Argue
31. Metonym
32. Figurative Language
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
The Male Brain
Oh this book...I chose it to find out interesting things about myself and the male species (because I'm narcissistic, duh). However, all that I ended up reading was a feminist psychologist spouting off about how the Male Brain can't be blamed for being stupid. Her argument was that males are naturally stupid. And I already knew that.
Yes we are attracted to boobs, and yes that is because of evolution. Can we help that? No. Does everybody know that? Yes.
Brizendine uses the same boring strategy throughout the book. She starts off with an anecdote about a male being stupid, then explains why the male is stupid after the boring anecdote, using her "look at me, I'm a psychologist" credentials. All in chronological order. That was the only aspect of the book I liked. She did manage to tie together Male behavior from beginning to end and let you draw the lines between father/son son/father yourself. She wrote it for a (female) educated audience and didn't have to baby us throughout the book.
Would I recommend this book? Maybe if you are a female trapped in your house with no knowledge of how the opposite gender works. But if you are a male, or a female who has talked to a guy, all you are going to read is obvious information from a biased pish posh psychologist.
Yes we are attracted to boobs, and yes that is because of evolution. Can we help that? No. Does everybody know that? Yes.
Brizendine uses the same boring strategy throughout the book. She starts off with an anecdote about a male being stupid, then explains why the male is stupid after the boring anecdote, using her "look at me, I'm a psychologist" credentials. All in chronological order. That was the only aspect of the book I liked. She did manage to tie together Male behavior from beginning to end and let you draw the lines between father/son son/father yourself. She wrote it for a (female) educated audience and didn't have to baby us throughout the book.
Would I recommend this book? Maybe if you are a female trapped in your house with no knowledge of how the opposite gender works. But if you are a male, or a female who has talked to a guy, all you are going to read is obvious information from a biased pish posh psychologist.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
To my dear little 8th Grade Self.
Dear wee Ryan C. Stephan,
I know times are hard dude. You don't trust anybody, you probably won't trust me. Which is you (inception? Nevermind, that movie hasn't come out yet...). 8th Grade doesn't matter at all. Yes, all of your friends have girlfriends and exclude you. None of those relationships will last BECAUSE ITS MIDDLE SCHOOL. But it still feels pretty shitty, because you have 1 purpose to these friends. They laugh at you for their entertainment. I have a simple solution for you.
You have to laugh at yourself. You're not going to be perfect, nobody is. Take the time to see what everybody else finds funny. They laugh at you because of your reactions. I know you feel like a punching bag, and the last thing you want is to punch yourself, but it'll stop. You take the humor away when you don't react, or laugh with them.
By the way, girls won't pay attention to you if you annoy them. (I still kind of do this...). Here's the key: Talk. But more importantly listen. Just nod your head, and listen and they will think you are such a sweet guy. ITt takes no effort! And it will also help not to wear two sweatshirts every other day. You are sexy, now embrace yourself.
Lose a little weight too, freshman year it gets worse.
From,
2012 Ryan C. Stephan.
I know times are hard dude. You don't trust anybody, you probably won't trust me. Which is you (inception? Nevermind, that movie hasn't come out yet...). 8th Grade doesn't matter at all. Yes, all of your friends have girlfriends and exclude you. None of those relationships will last BECAUSE ITS MIDDLE SCHOOL. But it still feels pretty shitty, because you have 1 purpose to these friends. They laugh at you for their entertainment. I have a simple solution for you.
You have to laugh at yourself. You're not going to be perfect, nobody is. Take the time to see what everybody else finds funny. They laugh at you because of your reactions. I know you feel like a punching bag, and the last thing you want is to punch yourself, but it'll stop. You take the humor away when you don't react, or laugh with them.
By the way, girls won't pay attention to you if you annoy them. (I still kind of do this...). Here's the key: Talk. But more importantly listen. Just nod your head, and listen and they will think you are such a sweet guy. ITt takes no effort! And it will also help not to wear two sweatshirts every other day. You are sexy, now embrace yourself.
Lose a little weight too, freshman year it gets worse.
From,
2012 Ryan C. Stephan.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Visual Argument
Rebellion
When I chose the topic of rebellion, I knew I had to narrow it down. A certain war, a certain battle. Then my a-ha moment came across and I thought of the Hippie counter-culture of the 1960s. I wanted my generation to understand how the Hippie movement developed and changed through the course of the decade. Hippies rebelled against many things during their rule. Following the conformity of America during the 1950s, the younger generation now known as the Baby Boomers, were successful in rebelling against what the older generations had handed them.
The hippies originally were college-aged students who had began to protest the decision to go into Vietnam. As televised riots began to sweep the nation, the rebellious hippies had changed shape. In the early 60s, the hippies were protesters. By the late 60s, they were shown as dirty and filthy stoners. Both depictions of the hippies fall into the topic of rebellion. Protesters, rebelled against the decision to go to war. Their rebellion can be considered successful because America never received the public support necessary to continue the Vietnam War. The hippies that our generation automatically thinks of (dirty and filthy stoners) rebelled against "The Man", they broke rules. They did drugs. They had free love. They rebelled against what most of the parents expected out of them.
To capture this, I put the images in chronological order. I started with protests and clashes with police (mainly black and white pictures), then moved on to show drug use, free love, and Woodstock. I purposely chose to put the spotlight on certain pictures of each section (protest, drug use, Woodstock) for extra emphasis and to show the transition. For instance the silent majority comic is making fun of the term President Nixon coined. The silent majority was the majority of Americans who were not rebelling, like the hippies but the image pictures the silent majority as fueling the war itself. Images of Woodstock show the hippies doing things that older generations would frown upon, how they are taking rebellion to new levels. The images I chose of Woodstock show rebellion evolving into pure chaos, and captured the views of the American public. A bunch of hooligans who successfully got their case of rebellion across to their target audience. All of these images are placed on a fire-red background to show the aggression of rebellion.
The song I chose to play during my argument is Revolution by The Beatles. The Beatles were very influential during this time period, and became political activists towards the end of 60s. Revolution has lines that mention the Vietnam War specifically and is an Anti-War song. From the clashing guitar chords that kick off the song, to the lyrical content, I felt Revolution was the perfect song for the argument of Hippies being rebellious. Rebellion often leads to Revolution. The song shows how this generation was rebellious by providing their own "revolution" against their older generations' actions.
When I chose the topic of rebellion, I knew I had to narrow it down. A certain war, a certain battle. Then my a-ha moment came across and I thought of the Hippie counter-culture of the 1960s. I wanted my generation to understand how the Hippie movement developed and changed through the course of the decade. Hippies rebelled against many things during their rule. Following the conformity of America during the 1950s, the younger generation now known as the Baby Boomers, were successful in rebelling against what the older generations had handed them.
The hippies originally were college-aged students who had began to protest the decision to go into Vietnam. As televised riots began to sweep the nation, the rebellious hippies had changed shape. In the early 60s, the hippies were protesters. By the late 60s, they were shown as dirty and filthy stoners. Both depictions of the hippies fall into the topic of rebellion. Protesters, rebelled against the decision to go to war. Their rebellion can be considered successful because America never received the public support necessary to continue the Vietnam War. The hippies that our generation automatically thinks of (dirty and filthy stoners) rebelled against "The Man", they broke rules. They did drugs. They had free love. They rebelled against what most of the parents expected out of them.
To capture this, I put the images in chronological order. I started with protests and clashes with police (mainly black and white pictures), then moved on to show drug use, free love, and Woodstock. I purposely chose to put the spotlight on certain pictures of each section (protest, drug use, Woodstock) for extra emphasis and to show the transition. For instance the silent majority comic is making fun of the term President Nixon coined. The silent majority was the majority of Americans who were not rebelling, like the hippies but the image pictures the silent majority as fueling the war itself. Images of Woodstock show the hippies doing things that older generations would frown upon, how they are taking rebellion to new levels. The images I chose of Woodstock show rebellion evolving into pure chaos, and captured the views of the American public. A bunch of hooligans who successfully got their case of rebellion across to their target audience. All of these images are placed on a fire-red background to show the aggression of rebellion.
The song I chose to play during my argument is Revolution by The Beatles. The Beatles were very influential during this time period, and became political activists towards the end of 60s. Revolution has lines that mention the Vietnam War specifically and is an Anti-War song. From the clashing guitar chords that kick off the song, to the lyrical content, I felt Revolution was the perfect song for the argument of Hippies being rebellious. Rebellion often leads to Revolution. The song shows how this generation was rebellious by providing their own "revolution" against their older generations' actions.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Dear Elderly Woman who makes my job slightly more difficult.
Dear Elderly Woman who makes my job slightly more difficult,
I appreciate your age group. You survived the Great Depression as a wee-tot. You fought the Axis powers of World War II. You helped make America a superpower. You attempted to raise some rebellious children. You may have seen a dinosaur or two. You make my job slightly more difficult.
Go ahead, I know you see me standing there next to my 5 rows of carts of 25, that needs just ONE more. It's 9:42 PM, I get off in three minutes. And there you are. With that ONE cart I need. With ONE bag in that cart. That bag is filled with stationary paper (Who even uses that anymore? It's called an email). Surely that is light enough to lift up the bag, and hand the cart back to me? No. Let's just waltz out the door with the cart. Great.
Now I have to wait approximately 45 seconds before I can creepily stalk you to your car. Once I put my coat and vest on, I see you have screwed me over to the extreme. You parked in the outer extremes of the parking lot. Lady, nobody is here at 9:42 PM. You could probably apply for a handicap parking permit.
You know what I really love? When I'm five feet away from you, about to pop the question: Would you like me to take your cart for you (with a cheesy smile on my face)? You decide to push the cart, down the parking lot (Target had the wonderful idea of making a parking lot with a slope). The worst sound in the world is a rogue cart flying until it comes to abrupt halt against the curb. Great, now I have to walk even more. It pains me to see you start your 1997 Toyota Camry. I hope you have a great night.
Sincerely,
Target Cart Dude
I appreciate your age group. You survived the Great Depression as a wee-tot. You fought the Axis powers of World War II. You helped make America a superpower. You attempted to raise some rebellious children. You may have seen a dinosaur or two. You make my job slightly more difficult.
Go ahead, I know you see me standing there next to my 5 rows of carts of 25, that needs just ONE more. It's 9:42 PM, I get off in three minutes. And there you are. With that ONE cart I need. With ONE bag in that cart. That bag is filled with stationary paper (Who even uses that anymore? It's called an email). Surely that is light enough to lift up the bag, and hand the cart back to me? No. Let's just waltz out the door with the cart. Great.
Now I have to wait approximately 45 seconds before I can creepily stalk you to your car. Once I put my coat and vest on, I see you have screwed me over to the extreme. You parked in the outer extremes of the parking lot. Lady, nobody is here at 9:42 PM. You could probably apply for a handicap parking permit.
You know what I really love? When I'm five feet away from you, about to pop the question: Would you like me to take your cart for you (with a cheesy smile on my face)? You decide to push the cart, down the parking lot (Target had the wonderful idea of making a parking lot with a slope). The worst sound in the world is a rogue cart flying until it comes to abrupt halt against the curb. Great, now I have to walk even more. It pains me to see you start your 1997 Toyota Camry. I hope you have a great night.
Sincerely,
Target Cart Dude
The Rut
It's after the holidays. No more religious celebration of your choice, no more excuse to get drunk/make unattainable goal or an attainable goal that one is too lazy to accomplish. We are entering the rut folks.
The rut is the huge block of time where absolutely nothing happens. This block of time consists from January to Spring Break. I hate this time. Here is a detailed process of each day.
1. Wake up in the dark at 6:30 A.M
2. Stand in shower, contemplating silly high school problems
3. Drive among the terrible drivers entering the school
4. Walk through the freezing tundra to get inside
5. School
6. Lunch
7. A little more school
8. Leave school as fast as possible, as if there's actually something important to do
9. Arrive home
10. Eat
11. Surf internet
12. Nap
13. Eat some more (they call this dinner)
14. Procrastinate (involves more internet)
15. Cram
16. Sleep
17. Repeat from step 1
During the rut, the days blend and nothing of importance is approaching. This is when teenagers turn to drama to excite their lives (oh wait, they ALWAYS do that). There is no cure, you can't control time. You just have to power through till Spring Break. After Spring Break there's another pattern, but we call that Apathy.
The rut is the huge block of time where absolutely nothing happens. This block of time consists from January to Spring Break. I hate this time. Here is a detailed process of each day.
1. Wake up in the dark at 6:30 A.M
2. Stand in shower, contemplating silly high school problems
3. Drive among the terrible drivers entering the school
4. Walk through the freezing tundra to get inside
5. School
6. Lunch
7. A little more school
8. Leave school as fast as possible, as if there's actually something important to do
9. Arrive home
10. Eat
11. Surf internet
12. Nap
13. Eat some more (they call this dinner)
14. Procrastinate (involves more internet)
15. Cram
16. Sleep
17. Repeat from step 1
During the rut, the days blend and nothing of importance is approaching. This is when teenagers turn to drama to excite their lives (oh wait, they ALWAYS do that). There is no cure, you can't control time. You just have to power through till Spring Break. After Spring Break there's another pattern, but we call that Apathy.
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